Things you need
The last one I can provide you. Get a Toothless Joe shirt and impress your mom when you wear it. It may not make her happy, but she'll be impressed.
Also, if you haven't seen it, I've added the first chapter of "Lestrygonians: the Transdimensional Frenulum" to my site and you can download it.
One MORE thing, if you have kids and want a book or two that they'll want you to read over and over and over and over (really) to them, then you can get them here.
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